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Tuesday, May 10th, 2005

Subject:Note to Future Self:
Time:12:17 pm.
Mood: blah.
Never drive anywhere when you're angry/upset. You'll only go too fast for your own good and most likely get in an accident/ticket. And you won't be able to hear any honking horns because you'll have angry rock music blasting as loud as you can because you'll think you are such a badass cutting people off and speeding by them and whatnot. You'll also not want to go to your destination right away because driving soothes you in a sick and twisted way. You'll find yourself taking the long route, missing turns, or making a lot of U-turns. You are, afterall, driving 60-65 mph in a 40-45 mph zone, so you'll have to make up space with extra road time. Don't worry, I understand exactly how you feel and I'll be here to remind you when this comes up again because we both know this will be a current theme in our lives. I apologize in advance for setting up your future downfall.

Your Present Self.

Ps. You'll probably waste a shit load of gas doing this, so it's better next time if you just stay home.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

Subject:My life, as I see it..
Time:11:26 am.
Mood: accomplished.
When I was given the assignment in my creative writing class that I had to write a nonfiction memoir about myself..I didn't know what to do..I hate..hate..hate writing about myself in a literary form.. I selfishly love to rant about random things.. but when it comes to trying to make it sound poetic.. I get stuck..
"Write about something you thought you'd never write about, something you think might be too personal..."
I've had incidents in my life, with my family, my friends..that were personal..but not huge or detailed enough to write a memoir on them, or they were too boring or cliche to be written..However, one theme kept running over and over in my head... Theater.. (Death came second.)
..Anyone who knows me, will probably know that I love and have loved theater with a fiery passion..it's not a secret that I love acting on stage.. The rise and fall of my theater experience is probably one of the biggest events in my life that has changed me in several ways...Some of the events are embarrassing to admit.. but.. that's life.. we do stupid things when were blinded or confused.. and, I think, we unconsciously write out our deepest secrets in undertone thoughts so that, by chance, that person or others will stumble across it and finally realize some sort of truth...An indirect way of telling them yourself..

So... with that long introduction.. I bring you my nonfiction memoir..

The Masks We WearCollapse )

If you have no interest or care about me or my life.. Then don't bother.. you'll probably just get bored with it anyways...I also have a tendency to want to explain myself about certain things I write.. so if any questions arise..feel free to ask..im more than happy to rant some more.. because.. I am..after all.. a selfish attention whore.. -.-;;
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 17th, 2005

Subject:Holy Crap, I'm alive...
Time:11:18 pm.
Mood: loved.
Yeah.. it's been a while..
..I've been busy with school, work, and my social life that I haven't really had the time, or the news to update..

As I type this, I'm actually procrastinating and putting off a 6-page paper and a midterm to study for.. I only have myself to blame..

Besides being extremely busy with work and school...
..I guess I'm what society calls "taken" ..
As in...no longer single..It's a very different feeling.. a lot better than the way I've felt the passed few years, thats for sure..

And thats my news... now.. a survey aka, list of useless information!!

Read more...Collapse )
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, March 16th, 2005

Subject:Poetry Alert!
Time:11:37 pm.
Mood: okay.
I've been writing poetry for class during the past few weeks... well.. I just wrote my last poem.. and I thought I'd share all (but one) of my pathetic attempts at poetry...And if anyone knows me just a little well.. probably knows that these aren't the most happiest of poems.. no fuzzy bunnies or daisies here, folks.. I mean.. shit man.. three of them are about death and/or a graveyard.. Well... enjoy!

'Graveyards' - Ghazal Poem.Collapse )

'Nirvana, Next Exit' - Image Poem.Collapse )

'A Heartfelt Plea' - Love Poem.Collapse )

'Soulless Creatures' - Character Poem.Collapse )

'Forever Nevermore' - Allusion Poem.Collapse )

'Death and I' - Pattern Verse Poem.Collapse )

'Insanity Within Reality' - Dream-based/Surreal Poem.Collapse )

- Night.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:4:05 pm.
Mood: confused.
I feel lost...confused a bit.. I thought I found something, but I think I lost it.. or did I even have it in the first place?..Was it really something.. or am I just overreacting..?? I want to believe that I'm happy...I want to believe that im smiling for a reason thats not fake or limited...

..I think I ask for way too much out of life..Maybe I should just enjoy it for what it is ...and get burned later... it's probably not even that big of a deal...yet it bothers me.. Why cant I just be happy for the joy of life itself and deal with the goddamn concequences later!?!? *sighs* oh well...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, February 24th, 2005

Subject:Why so silent, good Monsieurs?...Did you think that I had left you for good?...
Time:11:03 pm.
Mood: Bbbooooorrriinngg!!.
Yes, I live....to some extent..


Omg! My livejournal is so boring! (like life itself) ...

..Anyone want to give me a topic..any topic/question..about my life...and I'll rant about it...Or a survey/questionaire they want me to fill out... or something... anything?!...


Ps... Garon, I've been on for about 4 hours...It still has 70 hours left to DL!..

Comments: Read 8 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 17th, 2005

Time:1:37 pm.
Mood: amused.

Click and load up "Katrina & the News" under "Bonus Clip"

..This is only a small portion of what I listen to every weekday morning..If you live in the bay area..or ever visit.. you must listen to Alice@ 97.3 Sarah and No Name morning show!! Best thing ever in the morning..

..God, I love this morning show!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005

Time:4:17 pm.
Mood: distressed.
I'm starting to realize why I keep thinking and dreaming about certain people that I've been trying to forget over the years...

...I want and need some sort of closure...and I haven't received any..so I'm constantly reminded of them...

I don't think I'll ever get closure...

God, I'm starting to not like my creative writing class because it's bringing back too many memories...

I fucking HATE feeling this way...!! I feel so stupid sometimes for feeling like this...!! ..I don't want to cry about it anymore..I just wish it would go the fuck away!

Thursday, January 27th, 2005

Subject:All I know is that I'm here, Drifting somewhere in the vast...
Time:10:26 pm.
Mood: blah.
Well, it's been a while, Huh? ...Yes, I still live...

...Guess I should get to it then...

..I started school on Wednesday...Im taking three English classes ( Writing workshop, European Literature, Intro to Creative writing ) and a Geology class...which pretty much boils down to...A shit load of reading and writing...About +/- 15 essays/stories worth of writing...I plan on posting any writings I do that I find interesting or think others might find interesting...just because I need a bigger ego...or something like that...I dunno... not too excited about my classes...but im not complaining either... I only have 2 classes a day Monday through Thursday 9am till noon..and no Friday classes..So thats a pretty easy schedule...It's just the work loads going to be a bitch...

Work sucks... plain and simple... the people there are sooo inconsiderate and selfish and somewhat rude...and because I'm a nice person (Im nice..because I don't want to get fired) ..They take advantage of me and my hours sometimes... few people "boast" about the number of times they've been written up.. but they don't get fired because they are soo close to the management...I also got one of those "You're lacking in performance" speeches after I threw my back out...and because I only told one manager about it..(only because she asked if I was okay)...everyone else thought I was just being lazy...It's just bullshit.. I swear...I'll stop complaining once I get a better job, I promise...

*Sighs* Sometimes I really hate having dreams...I try to forget (maybe not forget...but not be reminded constantly) certain events in my past...Either because I look back and think that they're not my most proudest moments...or the event just turned badly and I don't want to remember how hurt I felt... etc..etc.. whatever... And then what happens? I have dreams with these people who I haven't seen or talked to in years...I wake up more depressed cuz Im spent thinking about them and missing them and shit...It sucks..It doesn't happen often...but it just sucks when it does....I always seem to dream about something/someone that I haven't even thought of the whole week..and I'll wake up thinking "What the fuck made me dream of that?!"...And I never have the dreams I want to...but I'll have creepy dreams of being chased and shit...I'm sure they'res a deeper meaning to all this.. I just don't know what it is at the moment...

I need a whole new look... I've had my hair up since forever...and it's getting longer.. very very long... I need to cut it... I want it straightened.. flat ironed.. frizz-b-gone..everything...I want to wear it down...and have it look nice... I also want to dye it...I've dyed it red/auburn everytime... So that might be a suggestion.. but I was also thinking about dying it black...its dark brown as it is.. so maybe black would be a change...who knows.. I am getting it cut and straightened...no matter what... it's just a matter of time and when im not being lazy...

Hey Look!..Some survey that's been floating around...Collapse )

Ummm..I think that's it for my update ramble... I'm not really one for interesting LJ entries...but maybe one day I'll shock you all... but by then no one will be reading my LJ anymore...and then the world will truly suck...

*shrugs* ..G'night.

P.S. Am I the only one who watches G4TechTV...or more importantly, X-Play with Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb??..I love that show..that and Judgement Day with Victor Lucas...and Cinematech is awesome too...*sighs* Dude, I'm such a nerd...-.-;;
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, January 10th, 2005

Time:1:55 am.
Mood: sleepy.
My Sister: "Aaamy! I feel like shit..I'm so sick. Come talk to me and keep me company..[pause] but not if you're going to talk stupid like you always do..."

I never really take my sister seriously anymore.. I think she's hilarious with the things she says to/about me...Besides.. She's a Biology/Forensics major and I'm an English/creative writing/literature major...Most of the times, we're not living on the same planet..

Anyways...I can honestly say that Silent Hill has completely invaded and consumed my soul... but since I beat SH4 (and getting all four endings) ...I have felt kinda....empty...Im not saying the game was bad.. I fucking loved it..!! but it's like when you finish a book... you're like.. "Wait - its over??" ...and it's too early to read it again... but too soon to let go of it... Sometime soon, I plan on playing all four again...Right now, I'm just reading into the mythology of it and the crazy things people are saying about it on forums...

Hmm..I haven't talked to any of you in a long time...=\

I'd rant or ramble about something... but my life's boring and nothing has happened.. maybe another time..

Ummm...[ Insert Witty Closing Line ] ... -.-;;...Night.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, January 5th, 2005

Subject:The Contest -
Time:4:08 pm.
The time has come. The stories have been written and it is up to you to judge the better of the two. We know the deadline was a bit late, but we didn't think you would notice anyway.

Again, if you want to, or plan on judging these stories, the decision will be based on:

- Creativity.
- Originality.
- Organization.
- Flow.
- Spelling/Grammar.
- Overall, good story.

A simple decision can be made by commenting on either LiveJournal. ( adiasb or scarygaron ) You can either, simple state which one is the better story, or comment, in detail, about either story (pros and cons).

No time limit is going to be giving, but if you're going to judge, please do it as soon as you can. If you don't plan on judging, feel free to read and enjoy the stories. We write for others as well as ourselves.

Again, if you have any questions, feel free to either comment, or send us an email:
Amy ( XLadyAdiaX@aol.com), or Garon (ScaryGaron@aol.com).

So, on with the stories. Read. Judge. Enjoy!

Prelude, By Garon.Collapse )

Forever Nevermore, By Amy.Collapse )

Thank you.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 2nd, 2005

Subject:OMFG! Silent my Ass!!
Time:1:36 am.
Mood: Arrggghhh!!.
*Slight Spoilers for anyone wanting to play Silent Hill 4*
(Fuck the lj-cut!)

Arrgghh! I love the Silent Hill series, I do..I don't care what anyone says but I think it is sooo much better than Resident Evil...It's smart and scary.. and creepy on all levels... and emotional... Hello? Lisa..Alessa..James...doesn't get any sadder than that.. Or Heather on her return home in SH3.. that's just sad, man... nothing like that in RE.. (Unless you consider Ada Wongs "death" or Brads death emotional..I think not.. that bastard had it coming.. and we all know that Ada never died.. ) ...

Anyways!! (getting carried away)..Im about 3 hours into SH4...probably about +/-2 hours left in the game.. Im returning to all of the previous places I went to before.. haunted by these ghost things that keep fucking touching me!! ..Im so low on health and I hardly have any health items..and Im afraid to go back to my apartment.. because it's starting to get possessed and Im running out of holy candles..and all my medallions broke!!..And the most creepy thing that scared the living shit out of me..is that some guy (who I just found out recently who it is) in a leather coat is fucking stalking me and shooting at me!! I can't get away from him.! I turn around, there he is! fucking shooting at me!!..and I can't run away fast enough because I have some stupid limping, arm-in-a-cast, bitch who can't run worth shit!..Funny thing though.. while this fucker in a leather coat is laughing his ass off shooting at me.. this chick is hitting him with her purse.. funny as hell!! I'd be laughing if I wasnt so pissed off and scared shitless at the same time!!..

I seriously don't think Id be able to finish this game.. it's pissing me off waaaay too much.. and creeping me out at the same time.. maybe I'll start over and try to collect all the stuff I need and go slow...so I can be better prepared for the 2nd half...but right now.. I can't play it anymore.. it's too much.. but at the same time.. I neeeeed to fucking know whats going on!! Too many questions!! How can a little boy and a grown up man be the same fucking person!!?!?! Its the 11121 man!! Arrggghhh!! its waaayy tooo good of a game to ignore for long.. but im waaay too angry at it now.. bllaaaah.. *passes out* =____=;;;

Oh yeah...

...Happy Fucking New Year!

Let's try not to screw this year any more than the last one...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004

Time:10:00 pm.
Mood: crappy.
..I threw my back out, again, a few days ago...

It's not as bad as before...but then again, I'm far too familiar with the pain...Since then, I've felt sooo lazy and tired...I've been kind of bed-ridden because I can't sit for long periods of time and still be able to walk w/out a limp...(And I'm not sitting at the moment btw, but laying on my stomach on my bed with a laptop in front of me)..God forbid I can't go online...anyways.. I just feel so tired and unmotivated because my movements are limited...I've been trying to write my story..and it's all in my head..but it's becoming so hard to write out..I'm such a fucking perfectionist, no matter what it is..that it has to come out just right the first time...I actually have the ending paragraph written before I've written any dialogue..I seem to skip around.. I write whatever and whenever inspiration hits me.. whether its the ending..or a really really good line in the middle...

Besides...I've been busying myself with more entertaining things..I got Silent Hill 4 and Prince of Persia (sands of time) for X-mas and I've been playing them a lot.. PoP is great and Silent Hill is just plain creepy...They just throw you in..and I have no idea whats going on..and I have all these questions.. and I just wanna finish it to know what the hell is up with that room!! lol..freeeeaaakyyy...

Anyways, I'm gonna play more SH4..I'm on call tomorrow so if I don't have to work, I'll write my story...Well, we'll just have to see how that turns out... -.-;;

-Amy Out.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004

Subject:The Guidelines...
Time:1:49 pm.
- Major Theme: Open.

- Major Genre: Open.

- At least one main setting. There can be another setting, but all the major action must take place in this main setting (A room, a lobby, a graveyard, a church, etc, etc...).

- No less than 3 characters, no more than 5; 4 would be preferable.

- Length is open, as long as it fulfils the elements of a short story (intro, climax, conclusion).

- At least one element of a metaphorical symbol (Rose = Love, Dove = Peace, Water = Purity, Book = escape from reality, etc, etc...).

Both stories will be posted on both Livejournals at (around) the same time for a fair judgment. Whoever feels the urge to judge these stories, the decision will be based on:

- Creativity.
- Originality.
- Organization.
- Flow.
- Spelling/Grammar.

There's no real deadline for the story, but before January 1st would be preferable. Extensions can be made due to other priorities (Work, family, etc, etc...).

-Any questions or comments, either E-mail me (XLadyAdiaX@Aol.com) or Garon (ScaryGaron@aol.com)...


I thought I'd make it more detailed, more restricted...but, fuck it...You're only cheating yourself... - Amy out.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, December 17th, 2004

Subject:"Don't go...Don't go where I can't follow..."
Time:5:47 pm.
Mood: worried yet relieved.
I'm sure you've heard this from about every other student within the past week, so I'll spare the theatrics but...

I am finished with my finals and all my classes till late January...It wasn't my favorite semester, but it went by fast and I think I had it somewhat easy..being a procrastinator didn't help though...'Course, now I'm worried about my grades...Sure, I did a decent job in most of my work.. got a few A's on some papers and assignments.. but a few classes I'm worried about..I'm on the borderline and my finals wern't really my best work...It also didn't help that I half-assed almost everything I got put in front of me.. No one to blame but myself..and maybe I'm just working myself up over nothing...We'll see...(I really really really really don't want to take French again... -.-;;)

The good thing was that I had this whole week off from work to study...and to catch up on my sleep and just be lazy...Tonight I was suppose to go back to work..but I only had an on-call shift.. and it seems they don't need me tonight..Tomorrow Im also on an on-call shift..I'm starting to worry that they're slowly taking me off the schedule, like they don't need me or something...waiting for me to quit..But I've been told our numbers are bad and thus hours need to be cut...I've been told that I'm a permanent staffer..that I'm sure I'll be getting hours next week and after they get rid of all the holiday temps.. Again, I could be getting worried over nothing...and I should cherish the time off during the holidy season as much as I can.. (This time last year I was working 40 hour weeks and getting sick) ..so I guess I'm lucky.. besides..come January, hours or no hours.. I'll probably still look into another job...I've said it before..I'll say it again... I'm not getting paid enough to give a shit about my job... end of story.

So..I told myself "If I'm not going to work tonight I'm going to... [ Insert List ]"..But now I feel like being lazy..no surprise there...But I will do my chores..I swear..Chores which includes wrapping a few gifts here and there...We got a christmas tree a few days ago..and it looks nice.. smells nice too..I think thats what I like the most about x-mas time is the smell of the christmas tree...I also like camping in the forests.. so maybe it's just trees in general that I like.. I dunno... but every year, our x-mas trees always look so pretty..it's heartwarming almost...I think the more time I have off, the more happy i'm getting about christmas..with school and shopping done..and work forgetting to schedule me...I can relax and enjoy it more.. then again..I'm alone.. so, it also makes me feel lonely too...Blah..oh well.. I'm used to it.. I have myself to keep myself company.. lol

Im working on guidelines for a competition that will be showing it's face here sometime in the future...don't know when I'll get it all sort out, cuz I'm a big stickler for details and perfection...but trust that I have not started yet..and have no fucking clue what it's going to be about...I want to make it a real challange, but easy enough to do in a few sittings..after some brainstorming and several rough drafts...*grins*

In a somewhat related topic (Like you know what I'm talking about in the first place)...Anatomy of Paradise is now online and open for anyone to read...in case no one knows.. its a thriller short story with extreme gore and a freaky, yet confusing ending...It screams "Silent Hill meets Silence of the Lambs".. so..there ya go...

Is that it?.. Am I done?.. Can I go now..?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, December 7th, 2004

Subject:Feel free to jump in and get involved!..
Time:6:04 pm.
Mood: blah.
A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.


BTW..For those of you who are following my recent updates...I came home from work at 2am again last night (this morning)...However, I didn't go to French class and was able to get more than 5 hours of sleep...
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, December 6th, 2004

Subject:What a way to start the week....
Time:2:32 pm.
Mood: omgwtfblaaaah.
Sunday Night:

8:00pm:Went into work.
10:00pm:Store(mall) closed for the night.


2:20am:Left work.
2:40am:Arrived at my apartment.
3:00am:Looked over some French as a last minute attempt at craming for the exam.
4:15am:Fell asleep.
6:00am:Woke up.
7:30am:Took French exam.

6:30am - ....Now: Feel like utter and complete shit.

5:00pm Tonight:Leave for work.
God Knows:Time I'll leave work.

Plans for tomorrow: Sleeeeeeeeep...

Please allow me to NOT kill anyone or go completely insane till then...

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, December 3rd, 2004

Time:10:37 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
I'm never good at beginnings... I'm always shy at introductions...but endings I can do...goodbyes, I'm far too used to...

...Wow.. that sounded more depressing than I wanted it to be..lol... Point is.. I want to update, I guess.. but I never really know where to begin..how to start...

Not much to say though, but I'm sure I'll ramble...please bear with me, or completely ignore this..your choice...

......Collapse )

I think I'm done now...I've said my peace...or a little of it anyways...

...Avec tous mon amour...Bonne Nuit.. ~<3
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, November 21st, 2004

Subject:...But why is the rum gone?!
Time:6:48 pm.
Mood: Procrastinating.
Omg! It's Sunday night already?! Where the fuck did my weekend go? ... I only have about ..3 1/2 weeks left of class..and I'm soooo not prepared for finals...but I am so ready for winter break.. lol

..I had a mandatory store meeting this morning.....-.-;; .... It was pretty much just further proof that my management staff truly believe that they are higher than everyone else in the store.. they think they know everything and exactly how to do every task, just because they've spent more x-mas' at Aero than any other staff member...For some people, Today was their first day of work..because we hired a shit load of people for seasonal...and I can already tell who's gonna be a kiss ass...I'm working the night before and the morning after Thanksgiving... same as last year...I think the mall and the whole commercialized bullshit has totally ruined my holiday enjoyment...I'm a total scrooge now because I let really stupid people piss me off.. leaving no time to enjoy the whole holiday cheer...

I need to write something... not an essay or a ramble like this... but really truly write something...which would consist of using the creative part of my mind...I was thinking of writing a sequel to Sinners & Saints... or even start a new short story thats been stirring in my mind for a good year or so now...But recently, I've had my SB Chronicles on my mind more hours than I've slept... I think I was...shall we say... enlightened??..

Mmm..nachos are yummy...

But I'm really looking forward to turkey on Thursday.. and the mashed potatoes.. and the yams.. and the pie... Mmmmm...piiieeee... ^^

Grrr.. I still have homework to do... and stuff to study for...I'm such a procrastinator that it drives me insane sometimes...I wonder why I torture myself so much...::shurgs::

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, November 12th, 2004

Subject:A creative mind is never bored..
Time:10:17 pm.
Mood: ..........

Full image(small)

Don't look too deeply into this...
I was just bored in class
And I thought I would share...

Follow me...into the shadows...Collapse )
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for +ÐamageÐ -.['Åmÿ'].- §ouL+.

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